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Ripcord, the spy who managed to learn the location of Springfield and pay-phone it home to his Joe comrades, steals a Corvette to flee the dive where he has been unmasked. In the heat of battle he failed to notice the little girl in the passenger seat. When he pulls over to let her out, he learns she is probably a far more effective COBRA agent than her dad.
Is it weirder that she has a revolver in her bag, or that she uses what is clearly a rehearsed speech right out of a Dirty Harry movie to threaten him with it? And then in the very next panel, she’s all, “You’re welcome, Mr. Dreadnok, Sir!”
Now, Bullpen Bulletins, from Marvel editor-in-chief Jim Shooter. From everything I’ve read about Marvel in the 80s, he was a holy terror of a boss. But here he is earnestly endorsing some group he saw play on a trip to Denver (ooooooh, fancy!) called The Hit City Band, then teasing Marvel’s New Universe line of comics, which would prove to be as popular as its cultural contemporary, New Coke. I got no hits when I searched on the Hit City Band in the iTunes store just now.
At the bottom of the page we have Marvel’s monthly checklist, with a handful of TV Guide-style loglines where they needed to fill the page. My favorite is for Fantastic Four No. 292 — “Versus Adolph Hitler!” Note how deeply the completist mania of self-described “Marvel Zombies” was folded into the business model. This was the era when only very popular runs of regular monthly series got republished as trade paperbacks (every monthly series goes to trade now; for years it’s been the only way I buy comics). So we have Fantastic Four Index No. 8 promising “The real scoop on what happened in issues #126-147!” And Marvel Team-Up Index No. 4, wherein “Spidey and his partners swing into action in issues #60-82!”
Then there’s the logline for Savage Tales #5 — “The only place to go for hard-hitting adventure!” Marvel is perhaps unaware of the currently-in-progress hard-hitting adventure of G.I. JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO! #49?
They can’t be. It’s right there on the checklist.