Tag Archives: film reviews

Yo-Ho, Ho-Hum: Pirates of the Caribbean — Dead Men Tell No Tales, reviewed.

nullSitting down to review the new Pirates of the Caribbean, I knew for a fact that I’d seen all four of the prior movies but I couldn’t remember a thing about any of them, except that one had Keith Richards in it for a minute. I expect I’ll forget this one, too, though I wouldn’t be averse to catching it on a double or triple-bill on a nice summer night at the Bengies Drive-In.

Handling the Fingering: Alien: Covenant, reviewed.

ALIEN: COVENANTMy fanboyish impulses mostly come out whenever there’s a new ALIEN. Mostly.

I tried not to splash too much corrosive blood on the deck in my dissection of Alien: Covenant.

Gunsmoke Gets in Your Eyes: Free Fire, reviewed.

free-fire-dom-FF030_rgbBen Wheatley’s new comic thriller Free Fire is a feature-length-gun-battle-as-anti-gun-PSA. I enjoyed it, as far as it goes.

Diesel Fumes: The Fate of the Furious, reviewed.

the-fate-of-the-furious-dwayne-johnsonWe all know the deathless The Fast & The Furious series can’t touch Mad Max: Fury Road or even its closer competitor the Mission: Impossible franchise, right? We all know that?

Even by the series’ own standards of allegedly intentional badness, the new The Fate of the Furious is a sour lemon. (136 minutes, four good scenes.) Here’s my NPR review.

Ape-Pocalypse Now: Kong: Skull Island, reviewed.

KONG: SKULL ISLAND

Look, I’m no hero, but did you happen to notice that my NPR review of Kong: Skull Island contains not one occurrence of “titular” or “eponymous”? Please notice that.

Time for Carrousel: Logan, reviewed.

logan-dom-DF-06365r_rgb.jpg

I’m looking forward to the argument we’re going to have over beers, you and I, about whether Logan is the best comic book movie since The Dark Knight or the best Western since No Country for Old Men. 

Here’s my NPR review, where I ran out of space to cite all the things I loved about this movie (Eriq La Salle! Autotrucks!), or to warn you that if you know you will recoil from the sight of an 11-year-old girl defending her life with lethal force, you should skip it. And it would probably be more correct to call it the Rocky Balboa of Rocky movies than the Creed of Rocky movies, but sometimes clarity is more important than pinpoint accuracy.

Bring tissues.

Get Up, Get into It, Get Involved: Get Out, reviewed.

la-et-hc-get-out-horror-peele-20161004-snapJordan Peele’s terrific new horror flick Get Out is many things, but it parody it is not. My NPR review is here.