Tag Archives: film reviews

Monsters, Ink: Hellboy, reviewed.

David Harbour inherits the fist, the horns, and the abs from Ron Perlman. (Mark Rogers)

It’s a shame about Hellboy (Neil Marshall, 2019). But we’ll always have Hellboy (Guillermo del Toro, 2004). My NPR review of the former is here. But none of these movies are as satisfying as just reading Mike Mignola’s Hellboy stories on the page, if you ask me.

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Only the Elephants Will Remember: Dumbo, reviewed.

Eva Green rides a computer-generated flying elephant. (Disney)

No critique of a long-lived artist is lazier or more boring than “I liked the early shit.” What can I say? I’m enough of a partisan of enough of the movies Tim Burton made back in the previous century that I’m always rooting for him to get his groove back. Alas, his new Dumbo shows no evidence of groove restoration. It’s fine, but any number of hacks like the ones who make Dwayne Johnson vehicles might’ve directed this movie for all the personality it’s got. My NPR review is here.

G.I. Jane the Virgin: Miss Bala, reviewed.

2262477 - Gloria

Wherein Gina Rodriguez makes a run at the Reluctant Hero Midwinter Action throne, Ismael Cruz Córdova makes eyes, and Anthony Mackie makes a shockingly brief appearance.

Dancing With Myself: Suspiria, reviewed.

suspiria-16-427-AB-SUSPIRIA-04-0328-5_EW Fall Preview_rgb.jpgLuca Guadagnino’s new reimagining of the vibrant Dario Argento Italian cult classic Suspiria is is vulgar, shamelessly pretentious, and frequently opaque. But there were also things about about it that I didn’t like. My NPR review is here. Continue reading

That 90s Show: Venom, reviewed.

Spider-Man 316 cover

For NPR, I reviewed Venom, which I can’t actually prove is a shelved Jim Carrey vehicle from 1997 in which Carrey has now been digitally (and tentacle-y) replaced by Tom Hardy.

But you can’t prove that it’s not.

Anti-Monster Squad: The Predator, reviewed.

THE PREDATOR

Predator, directed by John McTiernan the year before he made Die Hard, has been a favorite film of mine ever since I biked home with the rented VHS cassette (I couldn’t persuade my dad to take me, aged 10, to see it in the theater) and watched it three or four times in a weekend. It was the 12th highest-grossing film of 1987, a year when the box office top five was Three Men and a Baby, Fatal Attraction, Beverly Hills Cop II, Good Morning, Vietnam, and Moonstruck. One sequel and four original, not-based-on-preexisting material screenplays. Just in case you need a sense of just how long ago that was.

Anyway, I love Shane Black, so I wanted The Predator to be better than it is. My NPR review is here.

Berg & Wahlberg ‘Burg: Mile 22, reviewed.

MILE 22

Mile 22 is essentially Mission: Impossible minus amazing stunts, jokes, joy, Tom Cruise running, Rebecca Ferguson felling dudes by getting her leg over their shoulders, or Henry Cavill’s mustache. Also minus a great Iko Uwais fight scene or any sort of Ronda Rousey fight scene, which is odd because they’re both in the movie. But! There are one or two actual ideas in this thing that deserve homes in better movies. My NPR review of Mile 22 is here.